How strict should I be?

Aug 22, 2022

One of the biggest worries I always had  when my kids were little, was how to balance having rules and boundaries (I also call this positive discipline’) with allowing them to be free spirited.

I didn’t want to take a big boot and squash their spontaneity and ability to express themselves but equally I wanted good manners and a respectful relationship.

Does that sound like you? 

My husband was always much more laid back than me, so I guess we balanced each other out.

He found an old video taken in January 2005 a couple of weeks before Alice, our 4th child was born. It's of our second and third children (Felix aged 4 1/2 and Scarlett 22 months).

You might be wondering – why would I want to watch Camilla’s family video? (Don’t worry I edited it down to one minute long!)

Here’s what I’d like you to do

As you watch it, think of the things that we as parents might have said :

‘You can’t be up there, it’s not allowed’

‘Get down from there, it’s dangerous’

‘Be careful, you’re going to slip in those tights’

‘Don’t go near the edge’

‘Be careful of your sister’

‘Put that down right now or else I’ll…..’

‘Right that’s it, this game is over’ 

There’s a point in the video where Paul sounds slightly panicked about what Felix was doing but he got the result he wanted without threats.

There was a little 'testing the boundaries' reaction from Felix which Paul chose to ignore.

What I see watching this is allowing these two little ones the chance to express themselves and dance.

The opportunity for them be free-spirited.

The sweet dynamic between the older brother and younger sister who was watching and copying him.

The encouragement Paul gave them.

And the innocent fun they had.

No one got hurt, nothing bad happened and all was well.

This activity might not be your cup of tea but I’d love to know what you think. Send me an email [email protected]

Lots of parents have been messaging me, worrying about how their children will cope starting school (or nursery).

I will be putting out some posts and reels on Instagram over the next couple of weeks to help support you with this so watch out for them.

Here are the themes I’m looking at:

  • How can I help my child feel confident?
  • What if they don’t make friends?
  • My child has meltdowns at pick up and it’s SO embarrassing
  • How do I manage tears at drop off?
  • How can we get out of the house on time?

 You can also grab my new FREE guide 'The 10 Best Ways to Prepare your Child for School (or pre-school)'





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