Have you been feeling like this?

Dec 07, 2021

I don’t know whether it’s the dark evenings (for those of us in the northern hemisphere), the stressful run up to Christmas, or the dreary weather, but I’ve felt a bit ‘off’ the last couple of days.

Have you been feeling that way?

Yesterday I did a live chat in our facebook community My Parenting Village, with the wonderful Rosie Dalling. Rosie is a women’s life coach and runs Healthyselfish – see her website or Instagram.

I told her that a conversation with my daughter had really thrown me.

Alice is 16 and apparently was chatting with her friends at school about present buying at Christmas.

Here’s how I go about it these days – my kids send me links of things they like, I pick out the ones I am prepared to buy but they don’t necessarily know which ones I’ve chosen.

Then on Christmas day they get the wrapped presents.

I thought that was a good system. A sort of ‘big kid’ version of writing a letter to Santa. 

Except Alice told me that her friends think it’s really odd that she doesn’t get any ‘surprises’.

Here’s where I went with that – I immediately felt like an inadequate parent, that I’m boring about how I choose their presents and other mums do better.

Isn’t that crazy?

But discussing it with Rosie today, she said it was so interesting that no matter how experienced or confident a parent we are, guilt and comparison jump right into our heads.

This is especially likely if we are feeling a bit low.

The good thing is I’ve let it go already with the help of chatting to my husband (and to Rosie as well).

It reminded me of a great ‘pep me up’ list I have

The My Parenting Solution Courage and Kindness List

So here it is for you. Choose something that might help cheer you up if you are down .

  1.   Reflect  daily on the things that have worked and make a note of the positives.

  2.   Remind yourself that it’s okay to pause and think about how you're feeling.
     
  3.   Smile and chat to cashiers in shops – sometimes they aren’t interested but often they seem to really appreciate it and I leave feeling happier than when walked in.

  4.   If someone has said something to upset you – try  addressing it with: ‘When you said xx, I felt yy’ It takes the blame away but can really clear the air – I had that conversation with my daughter and she really understood.

  5.   Set yourself a physical challenge – run a little bit further than you might normally.

  6.   Take some time out for yourself (even just 10 minutes) and be sure to tell yourself that time out is important to improve your parenting.

  7.   Do something that takes you beyond your comfort zone – for me it was going live in my facebook group.

  8.   Share your worries with friends. Friends are there to support each other not to judge.

  9.   If someone in your life is a drain on you then pull away and know that we want friends who are radiators not drains!

  10.   Little acts of kindness to our loved ones (big and small)  go a long way – a cup of tea, an extra snuggle, stopping what you are doing to listen to them.

I hope that you might take one or two of those things and use them for yourself.

Send me an email and let me know! [email protected]

 

 

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