“No one else’s child behaves as badly as mine”
Have you ever felt that?
You imagine other households and think that their children sit at the table and eat their food without a fuss.
- They don’t run in the opposite direction when it is time to wash their hands.
- They don’t refuse to get dressed in the morning.
I have certainly felt this way on many occasions throughout my years as a parent.
Comparing myself or my kids unfavourably to others has always been a sure-fired way to undermine myself. We all do it but I recommend you steer yourself away from it as it is just so unhelpful.
So I wanted to talk about some tools that have really helped me along the way.
I created rules and routines for the ‘hot spots’
The hot spots are typically getting dressed, leaving the house, mealtimes, tidying up, screen time, bath time and bedtime.
Today’s blog is all about how to have rules and routines that help.
When I first got support with my parenting, my eldest child Nico was 2. We suddenly realised he was ruling the roost and it wasn’t good for him (or us).
Amongst the many things we changed at home, we decided to clarify what our rules were and then we got Nico on board to make sure he knew what they were too.
Far from becoming an overly strict and rigid household (which was what we feared), things became so much easier at home.
We stopped having battles over things and we started enjoying him more.
Here’s what I recommend – start with one hot spot and work up from there.
Let’s take getting dressed as an example which was a real source of stress for us. It may not be your hot spot in which case pick yours and use the principles.
Nico would get up, watch tv in our bedroom, play and then eat breakfast at which point he would point blank refuse to get dressed. So we decided to change the routine around and be much more consistent about it. It was hard at first as he made a fuss about it but over the space of about a week, with us sticking to the rules things got dramatically better. We followed the system below. Try it, I think you’ll like it.
The whole principle is about catching the good, being prepared and managing your child’s expectations.
Try it for the other hot spots but remember – only tackle one at a time.
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