Will you please stop whining

Nov 23, 2022
Whining, unhappy child

I don’t know about you but when I hear a child whine – and my youngest daughter who is 17 is still occasionally capable of it – it TOTALLY presses my buttons.

My initial response is to want to say - ‘You’re spoilt, ungrateful and immature’

If I continue along that thought process, I get more and more irritable

When they ask ‘What’s for dinner?’
Do you get a whiny response in return when you tell them.

So tonight, I asked her to make the meal – I left the recipe and all the ingredients out for her.

"What is it?’"

“A chicken dish” – I didn’t even tell her that it has lentils with it as that wouldn’t have gone down well.

“But you said we were having meatballs, I don’t want chicken” – apply your kid's tone of voice and you’ll know how it sounded.

“No, I said I was doing my Ocado shop and I asked if you wanted meatballs so I could buy the mince to make them”

“No you didn’t, you said we were having meatballs tonight”

These kinds of conversations can get more and more heated can’t they?

I was so tempted to shout "For god’s sake, don’t be such a baby, just stop complaining and whining and get on with it"

What happens then? We get disconnected, angry with each other and our kids feel misunderstood.

In my daughter's case, she’s worried about her university choices and is feeling under pressure from doing A Levels.

I took a deep breath and waited. Then to my surprise she said

"Sorry I was whining.  I didn't mean to"

With little children, there will be a few reasons they whine –

The reason can be:

  • A bit of a habit.
  • Because they’re testing the boundaries that we’ve not been very clear on.
  • Because they've got a strong emotion they can't control.
  • Because they have to do something they weren’t expecting and they feel upset about it.
  • It gets results – we give them attention pretty fast (even if it’s negative attention) when they whine and kids need to get our attention.

So, what can we do about it?

Below are three things that really don’t work (and in the next blog, I’ll give you 3 positive things you can do)

1. Don’t imitate them sarcastically and whine back – that only serves to shame them

2. Don’t sigh and give into the whining (‘Oh for goodness sake, just be quiet – here’s another chocolate biscuit’)

3. Don’t use negative labels like ‘You’re so spoilt, bratty, whiny and annoying’

I know that you’re the type of parent who is always looking for new and innovative ways to improve how you respond to your kids.

It can be incredibly frustrating when your child doesn't seem to listen,

especially when you're just trying to help them out.

You might feel like you're constantly repeating yourself or yelling, and neither of those things are good for either of you.

The G.R.E.A.T method taught in this mini course, is a simple 5 step process that has been proven to work time and time again.

I show you how to use the G.R.E.A.T method so that your child will start listening to you without you ever needing to yell, punish, or bribe them.

Not only this but I have a special offer available – you get to add a 45 minute private consultation on zoom with me for only £45

How to get your kids to listen with the G.R.E.A.T method

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