My mother’s favourite expression is ‘A mother’s place is in the wrong’
It makes me smile and it is so easy to slip into guilt around motherhood and be tempted to fix things when they’ve gone wrong.
I has certainly felt like that for me.
I remember my daughter Scarlett left favourite dolls china tea set right in the middle of the playroom floor and went off in search of something else to do.
A rule in our house was that if you’ve finished playing with something, it has to be put away before you play with something else. I’m not saying I always succeeded with this one but it was a clear rule.
Shortly after she wandered off her brothers chased each other across the playroom and trod on the plates and cups.
She was devastated and said ‘It wasn’t my fault mummy. Now my tea set is broken and you need to get me a new one’
Woah – doesn’t that press some...
Researchers say they may now have scientifically proven that a child whining is one of the most distracting sounds on the planet.
Worse than the unpleasant screeches of a table saw catching repeatedly on a piece of wood. Even harder to ignore than cringe-inducing exaggerated baby-talk of caregivers known as “motherese.”
The sound of a whining child tops them all as the most distracting, according to new research published in the latest edition of the online peer-reviewed Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology.
So short of advising ear defenders, I thought I'd give a bit of background info.
So is ‘Time-out’ any better than the ‘Naughty step’?
Firstly, I am against the naughty step for a number of reasons –
It gives the child the label ‘naughty’ and kids live up to a negative label. Even if you describe it as ‘naughty behaviour’ what they hear is ‘I’m a naughty girl/boy’ which you don’t want them to feel about themselves.
The vast majority of kids won’t actually stay on the step when you leave them there, so then you’ve got an extra problem. Not only are you trying to make them repent about what they’ve done but you have to try and force them to stay on the step as well.
When children misbehave it is driven by an emotion (you may not understand what that emotion is and it can be so dumbfounding. Why do they seem, out of the blue, to do the opposite to what they’ve been asked? But an emotion will be there. So if you don’t address the...