Stay Calm at Bedtime, 3 Simple Strategies for Stressed-Out Parents

Stay Calm at Bedtime: Three Simple Strategies for Stressed-Out Parents

Does bedtime leave you feeling like you’re losing control?
Do you find yourself battling endless requests like “just one more story” or “I’m hungry”?
Are you exhausted by the constant resistance, only to feel guilty for losing your patience?
If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone, and this episode is here to help.

In this episode of Raising Kids with Love and Boundaries, parenting coach Camilla McGill shares three transformative strategies to help you approach bedtime with confidence and calm.
You’ll learn how a quick mindset reset can shift your evening energy, why a predictable routine is key to cooperation, and how to hold firm boundaries with empathy to avoid power struggles.
With relatable anecdotes and practical advice, Camilla equips you with tools to turn bedtime stress into peaceful connection.

Struggling parents will find real answers here, plus guidance on how to handle common stalling tactics in a way that maintains boundaries while nurturing your child.

For your free bedtime 'cheat-sheet' go to https://www.myparentingsolutions.com/sleep to grab it and take the stress out of bedtime!

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction: Why bedtime can be so challenging
01:00 Personal struggles and lessons learned
02:30 Strategy 1: Pre-Bedtime Mindset Reset
05:45 Strategy 2: Creating a Predictable, Soothing Routine
08:30 Strategy 3: Holding Boundaries with Empathy
12:00 Question of the Week: Dealing with stalling tactics like “just one more hug”
14:30 Conclusion and resources for a calmer bedtime

When you're ready here are 2 ways that Camilla could help you further:
Tired of feeling like you go round in circles with your child and never seem to get anywhere?
Wish your child came with a manual as they have you floored?
1. Go to Camilla's instagram for further tips and inspiration https://www.instagram.com/myparentingsolutions/

2. Book a FREE Discovery Call to talk to Camilla about how she can help you personally to transform your family life. https://calendly.com/myparentingsolutions/discovery-call 

Transcript

Stay Calm at Bedtime: 3 Simple Strategies for Stressed-Out Parents

The Bedtime Battle

It's the end of the day and we want to spend just enough time with our kids to connect and go through the bedtime routine—but it's taking so long. We’ve called them to the bath and they laugh and run off and hide under the sofa. We might have got them in the bath and they scream blue murder when it’s time to get out.

Then the endless requests: “I don’t want that story, I want this one,” “I need more milk,” “I’m hungry.” They hop on and off the bed and interrupt us when we're trying to read the story.

We try to stay calm, but something wells up inside us—and we lose it. Then all hell breaks loose. If this sounds familiar, stay tuned to this week’s episode: Stay Calm at Bedtime – Three Simple Strategies for Stressed-Out Parents.

Today, we’re not only talking about how to stay calm at bedtime, but I’ll also answer the question of the week: What do you do when your child insists on one more hug, and then more milk, or begs you to stay—and you wind up getting angry?

I’ve really been there. I look back and regret some of the ways I handled bedtime. I’ve shouted, made ridiculous threats: “Right, that’s it—you’re not going to your friend’s birthday party.” And then realised I’ve just shot myself in the foot because that birthday party gives me two hours off on the weekend!

Let’s look at why we lose our patience and end up handling bedtime in ways we regret. I’m going to give you three great takeaways.

Strategy 1: A Quick Pre-Bedtime Mindset Reset

Take a moment to centre yourself before starting the bedtime routine. It can take as little as a few seconds. Maybe before you walk in the door from work, or if you’ve been with the kids all day, just a quick dash to the loo.

I used to imagine everyone else had bedtime nailed and would get so annoyed with myself when my kids messed about. But it helps to recognise that bedtime resistance is normal and it doesn’t mean we’ve done anything wrong. Most kids don’t want to go to bed—it means ending the fun!

Why do a mindset reset? Kids are sponges. They pick up on everything. When we approach bedtime calm and grounded, it helps them feel secure and relaxed.

How to do it:

• Practise deep breathing—inhale for five, hold for five, exhale for ten.
• Use a calming mantra: “I’m calm. I’ve got this.”
• Visualise a smooth and peaceful bedtime. This technique is used by athletes and performers—it really helps shift your mindset.
• Prepare ahead: Set up the bedroom, close the blinds, pick out pyjamas, and minimise distractions. Switch off your phone.

Strategy 2: Create a Predictable, Soothing Routine

Establish a consistent, calming sequence of activities leading up to bedtime. Different children respond to different calming activities, but predictability reduces anxiety and makes them more likely to cooperate.

Think about how cooperative children are in nursery or school. One big reason? Routines are clear and predictable.

How to do it:

• Keep the routine simple and repeatable. Get everyone on the same page—e.g., bath, PJs, teeth, story, cuddles.
• Use visual cues. Even if you and your child know the routine, it helps to show it: “This is what we do now, then what comes next.”
• Give small choices to create a sense of control: Which toy in the bath? Which pyjamas? Choose one of these three stories? Do you want to read on the floor or on your bed?

If you’re enjoying this so far, don’t forget to subscribe or follow—and visit myparentingsolutions.com/bedtime for a free Stay Calm at Bedtime checklist.

Strategy 3: Hold Boundaries with Empathy

This is where we often lose it—when we feel our kids are pushing and pushing. But holding boundaries is so important for everyone.

Kids are meant to test limits. That’s how they’re wired. But we can hold those boundaries without shouting or threatening.

Why this matters: Clear boundaries give kids a sense of security. When paired with compassion, they reduce power struggles and increase cooperation.

How to do it:

• Be firm but gentle. Once you’ve decided on a boundary, stick with it—even if it triggers a tantrum.
• Use empathetic language:
• “I know it’s hard to stop playing. I’ll keep the puzzle for you to finish tomorrow.”
• “You wanted an extra story—two doesn’t feel like enough. I understand.”
• Stay calm and consistent. Don’t give in to delay tactics, and avoid harsh tones.
• Offer small comforting choices: “Would you like the hallway light on?” “Three or four teddies tonight?”

Recap

Let’s go over the three strategies:

1. Pre-Bedtime Mindset Reset – a breath, a mantra, visualising calm
2. Predictable, Soothing Routine – a simple, consistent flow
3. Hold Boundaries with Empathy – stick to limits with warmth and understanding

Question of the Week

How do you deal with it when they insist on one more hug, then ask for milk, then ask you to stay?

First, know this: Wanting time to yourself isn’t selfish. Kids need rest—and so do we.

When we keep going back on our word, it undermines our authority and confuses them. Plus, our resentment builds up.

What to do:

• Be clear from the start: “How many cups of milk do we have at bedtime?” “How many hugs?”
• Be empathetic: “I understand that’s disappointing. It’s hard when you don’t get what you want.”
• Even if there’s a tantrum, you’re helping them learn they can cope with big feelings. That builds resilience.

If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please follow, subscribe, and leave a review. And don’t forget to grab your free bedtime checklist at myparentingsolutions.com/bedtime.

Thanks for listening to Raising Kids with Love and Boundaries with me, Camilla McGill.