'Santa I want..' Are your kids all consumed with ‘me, me, me?’

So many parents are feeling uncomfortable at the moment.

Wanting the joy of Christmas for their kids, but also feeling that it has got out of proportion.

All children seem to want to talk about is what they are going to get.

Feels a tad too materialistic, doesn’t it?

It is unrealistic to expect our kids not to get excited about what we (or Father Christmas/ Santa) might give them rather than what they might give others.

They are so often asked what they want or what they are getting.  They are bombarded with advertisements showing them happy children receiving gifts and they are encouraged to write lists to ask for what they want.

So how do you help create a culture of giving? It is good to start early with these things to really embed the right values. Here are 6 easy ways to do this:

1. Encourage them to do a drawing, make a little book and decorate the cover, write a note of appreciation, bake some biscuits or put a photo in a frame to give to friends or relatives
   
   
2. Hand made cards are always appreciated. You can make pretty cards as collages with bits of pretty wrapping paper and use glitter or spray paint leaves with gold paint
   
   
3. The younger the child, the more likely it is that you will have to supply the money to buy a present but if they do have some pocket money it is a really good idea to have them spend some of it on gifts. It is a great life lesson to have them actually part with the cash for someone else. Charity shops are good places to look as they won’t have to spend much there!
   
   
4. It is good to get in the habit to talk a lot about the joy of giving. Talk to them about the pleasure you have had in the past from giving a present to someone who really appreciated it. Go into detail: how you enjoyed thinking about that person, you liked wrapping it up and writing the card and then how much you loved their reaction when the opened it
   
   
5. If they do seem to persist with constant talk about what they want, or are resistant to giving, then don’t be critical or use shaming talk like ‘You are so spoilt’. It really is normal for children to be egocentric. You have a major influence over your children but it does take time and persistence on our part. So saying things like ‘I know how excited you get about getting presents.  All kids are like that, and I do want you to also make grandma a card as she loves you so much and it will make her so happy. So how about I draw an outline of a flower and you can colour it in?’  Sometimes they just need a bit of help to get started.
   
   
6. It is also helpful to point to things that they really, really wanted and that they have now lost interest in. Have them realise that we get a rush (it is actually a dopamine rush) from getting new things but that once the rush has gone, we can often feel empty. It isn’t terribly easy to explain this but just look around at the toys they don’t play with any more and point out that these toys were once something they were so keen to own – possibly like things on their Christmas list.

Remember, every interaction we have with our children, everything we put focus on and everything we model is shaping them for the future. It might not seem that way now, especially if they do stomp their feet and complain that they didn’t get a present that they wanted. However if we handle the meltdown with compassion and keep the child’s dignity intact – it gives them a really strong message.

Now, here's my gift to you:

It’s my new booklet ‘How to have a G.R.E.A.T Christmas with your kids, showing you how to use the G.R.E.A.T method to prepare kids for all the excitement (and possible chances for meltdowns) over the holiday period. Imagine a family outing with no nagging? Grab it and do copy and paste this link onto family and friends – drop it in your Whats App groups or emails - a lovely, easy (and FREE 😁) way to give a gift to someone!  Simply click here