When things go wrongJun 14, 2023
We all make mistakes. Yes, even me 😄
In fact, I have a story to share with you about a time when I completely missed the mark in handling my toddler's behaviour.
It's a reminder that our kids don't come with a manual, and sometimes we find ourselves at a loss, despite our best efforts.
I felt so embarrassed
My toddler, Nico, used to hit other kids.
It was frustrating and disheartening, especially because none of the strategies I found in parenting books seemed to work.
I would start off calmly telling him "No hitting," but inevitably, I would end up shouting in frustration. It was a cycle that left me feeling helpless.
That's when I decided to attend a parenting class.
After the first week, I felt equipped with all the tools I needed to handle my son's behavior successfully.
I was determined to have a playdate without any hitting incidents. So, off we went to his friend Jemima's house.
I thought I'd 'fixed the problem'
However, within minutes of our arrival, chaos ensued.
Nico, overcome with emotions, resorted to hitting Jemima in his quest to claim a toy.
She screamed 'Nico hit me' and she had a red mark on her arm.
I was mortified.
In my frustration, I reacted harshly and shouted loudly in his face, telling him he was a "horrible little boy" who no one would want to play with.
Unsurprisingly, this only escalated the situation. He screamed 'I hate you' and slapped me.
Feeling a mix of humiliation and anger, I decided to give him a second chance and we tried again.
But five minutes later, the same incident repeated itself, leading Jemima's mum to suggest that it might be best if we left.
I felt ashamed of my son and disappointed in myself.
I decided not to give up
But instead of giving up on the principles of "Positive Parenting," I realized I needed to adjust my expectations and see Nico as a child in need of help, rather than a "problem child."
So, if you've recently made a mistake and felt like a bad parent, I want you to know that you're not alone.
We all have moments of doubt and frustration. It's essential to forgive yourself and bounce back from those challenging times.
I'm so thankful that I discovered so many different ways to help our children regulate their emotions and express their feelings, it makes a tremendous difference and I'm so passionate about helping other parents too.
My second son Felix, and my two daughters, presented different challenges and I learnt even more from being their mother.
Here's what happened
Today, I am happy to report that Nico is now 25 years old! Time flies, doesn't it?
He has grown into a calm, sweet-natured, and confident young man.
By figuring out how to support our children in becoming the best versions of themselves, we give them a gift that lasts a lifetime.
How about you?
I love getting replies from my blog, let me know how you’re doing and tell me if you’ve made a mistake - I promise I never judge and you'll feel better getting it off your chest!
We're all in this journey together. Send me an email [email protected]
If you'd like to speak to me about how we could work together, do book a DISCOVERY CALL - pick a time from my calendar.
Remember, getting help to be a better parent is a strength not a weakness!
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