In this week’s blog I’m going to tell you about my clients Jenna and Ed who did my Tailored Support Package private sessions with me. It is such privilege to do the work. Every client is special to me and I get such pleasure from helping them transform their family life.
Jenna and Ed’s life was really typical of a busy working couple with two small kids. They have two little boys close in aged 2 and 3 years and before we met, life was pretty miserable. The boys were constantly fighting with each other, they would have tantrums in public, they threw their toys around, refused to eat at the table and one of them was waking in the night and screaming so loud that he woke his brother. Consequently Jenna and Ed were not only stressed about the kids but also sleep deprived and constantly on edge.
Ed told me that he had been grabbing Jamie roughly and he’d smacked Joe a few times when he’d been really rude and rough with his brother.
They really couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and there was very little joy in parenting.
In fact they couldn’t wait to get the boys off to nursery and go to work.
The problem was at the end of the day or on their days away from the children, it was the same pattern.
The nagging would start, they’d sometimes say no and that would result in massive tantrum, or the tantrums would reach a crescendo and it would become so unbearable they’d wind up giving in.
Have you ever heard of pendulum parenting?
It’s when you swing from ‘anything for a quiet life’.
Giving in and convincing yourself that it’s the best option.
Then you swing to ‘RIGHT THAT”S IT! You shout for quite a small misdemeanour and issue a ridiculous punishment like ‘NO TV for a month’
Which you instantly regret and can’t stick to because, let’s face it, the TV is a brilliant babysitter and has some pretty good entertaining and educational programmes.
So how did Jenna and Ed get from being almost at breaking point to a real sense of harmony at home. Doesn’t sound possible does it? But it is.
They took my ‘Tailored Support Package’ and we took it step by step. We started off by looking at the struggles they were having and the stress it was putting on family life. We also created a wish-list of things they wanted to change – Calmer mealtimes, kids participating in tidying up, following instructions without tantrums, playing nicely together, smoother, shorter bedtimes and sleeping through the night. Does that sound appealing to you?
It’s amazing how small changes can make a big difference. Ed decided to stop using threats and to re-define his expectations of a 2 and 3 year old. He engaged far more in their play and praised every step in the right direction when it came to following instructions. They created a workable routine with clear rules which made it far easy for the kids to follow them. They learnt ways to deflect or avoid tantrums and found that in time with the change of atmosphere, the boys began playing nicely together.
Ed and Jenna genuinely thought that they had impossible kids who were never going to behave normally and they expected broken nights and constant meltdowns.
They were so surprised and thrilled when they created harmony at home.
They even went abroad to visit grandparents during a busy Christmas period and both sets of grandparents remarked on how much calmer and better behaved the boys were.
Being a parent of young kids is such a steep learning curve and they don’t come into this world with a manual. Learning better ways to parent should be seen as a strength not a weakness – after all, in the workplace, you get training for even the simplest of jobs. If you’d like to work privately with me, I always start off with a discovery call so we can both decide if it is the best thing to do. Parents see it as an investment in their parenting, the same way you might buy a good cot (crib) or pay for enrichment classes for your child.
Here is the link to book a call
Here are the details of my Tailored Support Package
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