I Wish I'd Known.. - Parenting Through Tantrums: A Lesson in Child Behaviour

Parenting is an ever-evolving journey of learning, making mistakes, and growth. We all start our days with the best of intentions:

- Organizing everything perfectly
- Maintaining our calm and keeping the shouting at bay
- Being the cheeriest version of ourselves for our kids
- Finding a brief moment of solitude just for ourselves
- Checking off each task on our to-do list

However, life, with its myriad of surprises and challenges, often veers us off our planned path.

I wanted to share a personal story that left a lasting impression on me, and I hope it might resonate with some of you.

### A Glimpse From My Diary

While my kids were growing up, I wrote iaries for them, documenting their milestones and special moments. One day, I revisited an entry from 2002 about my eldest son Nico’s last day at nursery. The day was particularly challenging. The diary read:

*'Nico refused to listen. With a glint in his eye he put his feet on the table, then decided to crawl underneath it, making me feel so irritated. He kept provoking other children by pushing and shouting, I was mortified.

As things ramped up, I decided it was best to leave.

Nico's reaction was so difficult to watch - he was hysterical.  I had to bundle him in the car kicking and screaming. That drive home was one of the most difficult moments for me, filled with a mix of anger and deep sadness that his last day at nursery ended like that.'*

It's a memory that often reminds me of how we, as parents, so often misconstrue our children's actions.

Instead of seeing Nico's acts as sheer defiance, I wish I had recognised them as his way of processing the complex emotions of leaving a familiar environment and the friends and teachers he had grown to love.

### Standing in Their Shoes

Children often communicate their feelings in ways we might not immediately understand. Instead of reprimanding them or feeling the urge to control the situation, what if we paused to see the world from their perspective?

Imagine if I had taken Nico aside that day and said, "Nico, I know this is hard for you. You're sad about leaving, and it's okay to feel this way. Let's go outside, take a breather, and talk when you're ready."

Through years of working with countless parents, I've realised that these moments of misunderstanding are not isolated incidents.

Each parent-child duo faces its set of challenges. By sharing and learning from each other, we can navigate these situations with more empathy and understanding.

### Your Valuable Feedback

Recently, I conducted a survey to understand what topics interested parents. Here are the results:

**Strategies to get your child to listen** - 49.5.

**Addressing challenging behaviors** - 20%

**Navigating sibling rivalry and jealousy** - 16%

**Ways to connect with kids** - 14.5%

Thank you to everyone who participated. I'll be addressing these topics in upcoming blog posts, so stay tuned!

Also, special congrats to a lovely mum from our community who won a consultation with me, and to two other amazing mums who are about to delve into my mini video course.

How to get your child to listen without ever needing to nag or shout'​ introducing the G.R.E.A.T method designed to transform the way you communicate with your child.

### Final thoughts

Thank you for being a part of this shared parenting journey. I invite you to join the conversation by commenting below or connecting with me on ​Instagram​

If you'd like to book a free discovery call to find out how you could work privately with me, Just click here

 Every experience, be it a challenge or a joy, is an opportunity for growth and understanding.

Sending my best wishes to each of you on this remarkable journey called parenthood.

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