Tired of Power Struggles and Back-Chat? Try these 5 Powerful Scripts

"Find yourself yelling things like, “That’s enough!” or “Why are you being so difficult?”

In this episode, parenting coach Camilla McGill shares five powerful, real-life-tested responses to help you handle meltdowns, backchat, and power struggles with calm, confidence and compassion.

Through personal stories and practical scripts, you’ll learn how to respond in those intense parenting moments—without shouting, threats or guilt. Plus, Camilla answers a listener's question about how to handle the dreaded bedtime standoff: “I’m not going to bed and you can’t make me!”

Use these scripts to stay connected, set clear boundaries, and bring more ease to your daily parenting challenges.

Want to book a free consultation with Camilla?
👉 https://www.myparentingsolutions.com/CHAT

Follow Camilla On Instagram

✅ Script 1: Handling Meltdowns in Public
✅ Script 2: Power Struggles Over Clothes
✅ Script 3: Dealing with Back Chat and Name Calling
✅ Script 4: Managing Flat Out Refusals
✅ Script 5: The Internal Reset for Parents
🎧 Listener Q&A: Bedtime Power Struggles

00:00 Introduction: Handling Parenting Challenges
00:36 Meet Your Parenting Coach: Camilla McGill
01:46 The Power of Scripts: Five Key Phrases
04:46 Script 1: Handling Meltdowns in Public
07:38 Script 2: Power Struggles Over Clothes
10:06 Script 3: Dealing with Back Chat and Name Calling
12:10 Script 4: Managing Flat Out Refusals
14:00 Script 5: The Internal Reset for Parents
15:12 Q&A: Bedtime Power Struggles
16:35 Conclusion: Connect, Don't Dictate

Transcript

Say This Instead: 5 Powerful Responses When Your Child Melts Down, Talks Back or Refuses to Listen
📍 If you find yourself yelling things like, "That's enough!" "Why are you being so difficult?" or "How dare you?" before you've even had the chance to think about the best response when your child has said or done something that really presses your buttons, then you're going to get so much value from today’s episode.
Say This Instead: 5 Powerful Responses When Your Child Melts Down, Talks Back or Refuses to Listen

🎧 Welcome
As a parent, you know it's important to have clear boundaries, but you also want to be caring and compassionate, right?
Well, I'm Camilla McGill and as a seasoned parenting coach and mum of four, I'm excited to give you the principles, tools, and inspiration you need to raise amazing kids.
Welcome to Raising Kids with Love and Boundaries.

📍 The Truth About Parenting Triggers
Whilst being a parent can be so rewarding and fulfilling, I want to be real here — it's also full of emotional landmines.
We can get so triggered by the meltdowns, the power struggles, the rudeness, the backchat, and it just makes us want to scream.
We feel taken for granted and terrified that we are in danger of raising a vile brat of a child.
And when we are tired or overwhelmed, it's so easy to go into command mode or guilt mode.
But what my clients say they find so helpful — and believe me, I tested all these things out on my own four kids — is that having a few simple phrases to draw on, scripts that help us take a breath and respond with calm and confidence, even when our kids are pushing our buttons, is just so helpful.
So today I’m sharing 5 powerful scripts for those stressful moments when we so often feel lost for words — when we just don’t know what to say to ourselves, let alone to our kids.
Plus, I'm going to be answering a listener's question:
"What do I do when my child says, ‘I'm not going to bed, you can't make me’?"
So make sure you listen on to the end, because I’m going to cover that later.

👩‍👧 Personal Story
My daughters were three and five at the time, and my parents had bought them these two beautiful American Girl dolls.
They were twins with lovely shiny hair — the kind you want to brush and plait.
I left them playing, popped into the kitchen, and came back five minutes later…
And I found that my 5-year-old had hacked at one of the doll's hair — and her sister was crying.
I laugh about it now, but it was just so upsetting at the time.
I felt so angry.
What I wanted to say was:
"You are so naughty. You've ruined your doll! Why would you do that? Now your sister’s crying. Right, I'm taking them away from you both!"
But I paused. I took a breath.
And I reminded myself — kids are impulsive, they're curious, and they don’t yet have the skills to anticipate consequences.
So instead — and listen, I'm no angel of a parent, I've done all the wrong things — but in this instance, I want to tell you what I said.
I crouched down and said gently,
"Oh, you've been busy with your doll. Was there a reason that you cut her hair?"
And she replied:
"I just wanted to cut a bit. I wanted us to have a girl doll and a boy doll. So I made Alice’s doll a boy — but I couldn’t get it straight, so I just kept cutting and cutting."
And then she was really tearful.
It made perfect sense to her — logical and impulsive.
The damage was done.
So all I said was:
"Next time you want to do something like that, what do you think you should do?"
She replied that she should come and ask me.
That moment reminded me how much power we hold in how we respond.
If we use shame, punishment and anger in moments like this, our kids shut down. They get defensive. And in future, they hide their mistakes or blame others.
She could have easily blamed her sister when I confronted her. But I think it was in the way I said it that allowed her to take responsibility and realise she'd made a mistake.

✅ Script 1: The Meltdown Moment
Scenario:
You’re in the supermarket. Your 4-year-old spots a toy or chocolate and starts shouting,
"I want it! I want it now!"
If you’ve got an older child, I’m sure you can think of a meltdown example they’ve had too.
You say no — and they fall apart. Full-on tantrum. Lying on the floor.
People are staring. Maybe even tutting. You feel so embarrassed.
Your inner voice says:
"Just buy the thing and get the hell out of here!"
Anything to avoid a scene.
But it really isn’t healthy for our child if we do that — because they learn that we’re scared of their emotions.
🟠 Try this instead:
"You really want those chocolates, don’t you? It’s so hard when we can’t have what we want. And I’m not buying chocolates today."
This names the feeling without changing the boundary.
Why it works:
When children feel emotionally understood, the intensity often drops — even if it takes a minute.
You’re helping them feel seen, not fixing, not rescuing, not giving in.
You’re modelling emotional regulation.
What if they keep screaming?
🟠 Stay calm.
🟠 Repeat the script gently.
🟠 Let your body language match your words — soft tone, calm face.
🟠 Then hold the limit:
"I know it’s hard. We’re still not getting it today."
We’re building their tolerance for disappointment and showing them big feelings don’t scare us.

✅ Script 2: The Power Struggle Over Clothes
Scenario:
You’re trying to get your child dressed for school. They’re lying on the floor in their pants, refusing to budge.
You’ve already asked three times. Panic’s rising — you’re going to be late.
Natural reaction:
"That’s it! No TV later if you don’t get dressed!"
or
"I’m leaving without you!"
🟠 Try this instead:
"Going to school feels hard. I bet you'd prefer to stay here playing."
Then add some humour:
"Oh, I’m going to put these trousers on myself!"
Or offer choice:
"Do you want to put on your trousers or your top first?"
Why it works:
You’re giving empathy and a sense of autonomy within a boundary.
The demand stays the same — but now they feel a bit more in control.
That reduces resistance.
What if they say "Neither!"?
🟠 "That’s the funny answer — but it’s not one of the choices. Trousers or top?"
If they’re still stuck, try lightening the mood:
🟠 "Oh no! Your trousers are going to crawl up your legs like a sneaky snake!"
Playful energy unlocks cooperation better than logic.
And yes — if your child is having 30-minute stand-offs, this script alone won’t solve it. That’s why I offer free discovery calls to talk about your specific situation.
Head to myparentingsolutions.com/chat to book.

✅ Script 3: The Backchat or Name-Calling
Scenario:
You say no to a snack.
They shout:
"You’re so dumb and stupid!"
Natural reaction:
"How dare you speak to me like that!"
or
"Right, that’s it — no more treats!"
🟠 Try this instead:
"Wow, you’re really angry with me. Those words tell me you’re having some big feelings."
Or
"That hurt to hear. I think you’re trying to show me how upset you feel."
Why it works:
Reflects emotion so they feel understood

Names the behaviour without shaming

Keeps the door open for reconnection

What if they double down and shout more?
🟠 Stay grounded.
🟠 Say:
"It’s okay to feel angry. I’m going to give you a moment to cool off and then we can talk."
or
"I’m here when you’re ready to speak to me with kindness again."
You’re modelling calm under pressure. And showing them that conflict doesn’t have to mean disconnection.

✅ Script 4: The Flat-Out Refusal
Scenario:
You say it’s time to leave the park.
They shout:
"No!"
They bolt. Or lie on the floor.
Natural reaction:
"That’s it! We’re never coming back!"
or
"Why are you making this so difficult?"
🟠 Try this instead:
"Leaving feels hard when you’re having so much fun."
"I know, it’s sad to stop when you’re not ready. I’m going to help you go."
Why it works:
You’re naming their feeling, offering empathy, and following through.
They feel seen, not overpowered.
What if they still resist?
Offer playful choice:
🟠 "Shall we stomp like dinosaurs or tiptoe like spies?"
🟠 "Do you want to hold my hand or ride on my back like a backpack?"
If needed:
🟠 "I’m going to help your body now."
Then calmly carry or guide them. You’re still the calm leader in their storm.

✅ Script 5: The Internal Reset
Scenario:
You’ve snapped. You regret it.
And now the guilt rolls in.
Thought spiral:
"This isn’t working. Maybe I’m being too soft. Maybe I’ve messed it all up."
🟠 Try saying to yourself:
"Okay. Breathe. Gentle doesn’t mean I’m giving in. I can be kind and still hold my boundary. I don’t have to get this perfect. One step, one moment at a time."
Why it helps:
This pause brings us back to centre.
We’re not aiming to be flawless — just present and steady.
If the guilt lingers, say:
"I can always reconnect. I can repair. This was one hard moment, not the whole story."

🎧 Listener Question
"What do I say when my child says, ‘I’m not going to bed, and you can’t make me’?"
We’ve all been there.
🌀 Try prevention first:
Have a predictable routine. Give a heads-up. Ask:
🟠 "What do you think it’s time for now?"
🌀 If the stand-off has started:
Use connection and playfulness:
🟠 "I’m definitely not going to tickle you…"
🟠 "Wait — I forgot your favourite ice cream flavour. Was it bubblegum?"
🟠 "Going to bed feels boring when you’re still having fun, doesn’t it?"
These lower defensiveness and keep you in charge — without the head-to-head.

🎧 Closing Thoughts
There you have it —
5 powerful scripts, 1 internal reset, and a strategy for bedtime battles.
If this helped, please share it with a friend, leave a review, or DM me on Instagram @myparentingsolutions.
You can also book a free discovery call at myparentingsolutions.com/chat
And remember:
You don’t need to get it perfect. Just one step, one moment at a time.
Thank you for joining me,
Camilla McGill
on Raising Kids with Love and Boundaries.