Holiday Fights & Meltdowns – How to Manage the Summer Emotional Rollercoaster

Summer holidays are meant to be joyful—but the reality? Sibling squabbles, stressful visits to family, kids resistant to going to  summer camp, and end-of-day meltdowns.

We're trying to juggle it all and it can get too much for everyone

In this episode, parenting coach Camilla McGill explains why kids often struggle emotionally during the summer and how you can support them calmly and confidently

✅ Understand why lack of structure causes big emotions

✅ Recognise signs of sensory overload—especially at summer camps

✅ Practical strategies to reduce meltdowns and sibling conflict

✅ Scripts to use when your child is rude in public

✅ BONUS: A listener asks what to do when their child calls them “idiot” in front of relatives

📞 Book a free discovery call to chat to Camilla about your unique situation and find out about her private coaching package

🎁 Download your free guide: myparentingsolutions.com/justlisten

Timestamps:

00:00 – Why summer often feels overwhelming for parents and kids
01:30 – When routines vanish, confusion and conflict rise
03:10 – Sensory overload: camps, noise, wet swimsuits & more
05:45 – Summer camp stress: unfamiliar adults, pressure to fit in
07:40 – What’s underneath the behaviour: control, disconnection, jealousy
11:00 – Reset expectations and build in daily anchors
13:50 – Catch early signs before the meltdown hits
16:20 – What to say in public when your child is struggling
18:30 – Be the coach, not the referee in sibling fights
20:20 – Listener question: “My child called me ‘idiot’ in front of relatives”
23:30 – Recap: structure, empathy, calmness = your summer toolkit
24:45 – Get support & free guide: myparentingsolutions.com/justlisten

Episode Transcript

Summer holidays can feel like a real emotional rollercoaster—the kids are fighting more, we’re worn out, and all the family moments - the outings, holidays, family gatherings that we thought would be full of joy, creating happy family memories? They're suddenly stressful, the kids are behaving badly, and we feel embarrassed, irritated and exhausted. I don’t mean to be a debbie downer here, there will be lovely times, but I want to give a realistic take on summer holidays!

In this episode, I’ll help you understand why kids often struggle emotionally during summer and present ‘challenging behaviour’, and give you practical tools to reduce the fights and meltdowns—whether you're at home, travelling, or navigating summer camps. But first..

I’ve also got a brilliant listener question asking what to do about rudeness in front of friends or relatives —so stay with me to the end to hear that and how I recommend you handle it.

🟢 2. Why Summer Is So Emotionally Charged (1:30–5:30)

Summer should feel relaxed—but it often doesn't. Here’s why:

• Routines disappear: No school run, no fixed structure, we want to loosen up but then we give confusing messages about what the rules and boundaries are—this can be disorienting for kids who rely on routines and predictability to feel secure.
  
  
• If we’re actually taking time off work, They're with us 24/7: And while that can be lovely, it also means more opportunity for bickering, especially between siblings. It’s also a lot of pressure on us to get everything done - meal prep, entertainment, organisation, responding to messages, emails… we get distracted and we tend to react when they DO bicker and forget to notice when they’re actually playing quite well
  
  
• Sensory overload: This can easily get overlooked and some kids are more sensitive to this than others 

At summer camps, there might be whistles blowing, group chanting, or multiple activities happening at once, all of which can overwhelm a child who’s used to quieter environments.
They might be dealing with scratchy camp teeshirts, wet swimsuits, or sticky sunscreen—all uncomfortable for kids who are more sensitive to tactile sensations.

Throw in bright sunlight, long hours outdoors, and unfamiliar smells from food or nature—and it’s a sensory cocktail that can quickly tip them into overload.

• Less downtime: Whether you're sightseeing or simply out of routine, quiet solo play and rest often go out the window.
  
  
• You're juggling more: Trying to work, manage childcare, and plan things your child will enjoy—while also hoping for a break yourself.
  
  

And let’s talk about summer camps for a moment—because they often bring their own emotional challenges.
We need them to go—to give us time to work, or just to have space. But for your child, camp can feel like another huge change:

• A new environment
  
  
• Unfamiliar adults
  
  
• Pressure to make friends
  
  
• And the unspoken sense that this is meant to be fun
  
  

➡️ That’s a lot of pressure—and even if they’re excited, they may still act out from anxiety or overwhelm.

So if you’re noticing more clinginess, more resistance, or more meltdowns around drop-off or pickup—it’s normal. And you can absolutely support them through it. - I really recommend using the GREAT method for preparing a child for summer camps this framework is super-helpful for managing a child’s expectations and, it’s in my free guide to get kids to listen go to www.myparentingsolutions.com/justlisten - 

Next up 🟡 3. What’s Really Going On Beneath the Behaviour  when kids are out of routine

underneath the surface.When your child is:

• Arguing with their sibling,
  
  
• Refusing to get dressed for the day,
  
  
• Or bursting into tears over seemingly small things…
  
  

There’s often something much deeper going on.

It might be:

• A need for control: Everything feels unpredictable - we haven’t explained what’s happening or what to expect
  
  
• Disconnection: They sense our stress or distraction - we’re juggling 10 balls in the air, trying to keep everyone happy and without realising it, they pick up on our stress and distraction and make it mean ‘Mummy doesn’t love me or care’
  
  
• Exhaustion: From all the stimulation - we forget how tiring lack of routine and new experiences can be
  
  
• Jealousy: Especially if they’re constantly having to share space or attention - it is a completely normal emotion that rears up especially when they’re in close proximity to siblings and they also feel jealous of parents showing each other attention
  
  

Kids don’t say, “I’m feeling unsettled by all this change. I feel jealous.  You’re distracted and I need you”
They show it—through defiance, shouting, tears, or shutting down.

And when you can see it for what it is—a communication of need—then our response can shift from reacting to connecting - I get this isn’t always possible 

🔵 4. What You Can Do to Help: Practical Tools 

Here’s how to support your child (and yourself) through the summer chaos:

✅ Reset your expectations
Let go of the idea that every day needs to be magical. There will be meltdowns. There will be fights. Nothing is perfect. Knowing this helps us be more realistic and then appreciate the sweet, funny times too

✅ Create anchors
Introduce gentle daily routines, even on holiday or at home:

• Morning check-ins - something physical like a hug, a little dance together. Tell them you’re pleased to see them in the morning
  
  
• Snack and rest breaks - keep the snacks as healthy as you can and try to include some protein. A peanut butter sandwich is great. Factor in rest times when possible, if at all possible don’t make the ipad be a rest time, but do your best and don’t feel guilty if you are using it.
  
  
• Predictable bedtime cues—even if the time varies - still read the story, say the same goodnight mantra (we’re talking doing our best here by the way)
  
  
  

✅ Notice the early signs
Whining, silliness, resistance—these are ‘storm clouds’ gathering. Rather than pushing through, try:

“Looks like we need a bit of quiet time. Let’s sit together and have a snack.” “I get the feeling you’re a bit ‘out of sorts’, shall we take a break and have a cuddle”

✅ Name the emotion and hold the boundary

“I can see how upset you are. You’re so disappointed because you wanted me to buy the ice cream. We’ve had one today so no more.”
This tells your child: your emotions are safe here—but so are the boundaries.

✅ Stay steady in public
Whether you’re seeing a fight brew in the playground or managing a meltdown at Grandma’s house, our calm presence is what our child needs most. You might think - I just can’t stay calm my child pushes my buttons so much - take a few ideas from today and consider contacting me about getting my full support. But we can try:

“We’re having a hard moment. We’ll step away and come back when we’re ready.” - always remove the child from the eyes of others if possible

🟣 5. Support Sibling Dynamics (13:00–14:00)

When siblings are constantly together, conflict is inevitable.

Try this:

• Shift from referee to coach

“You both want the toy—what’s a good solution?.”

• Be neutral, not blaming - blame sets them off against each other and makes us the referee not the coach
• Encourage repair, not punishment - maybe set them a little task to do together or one shares a favourite toy with the other
  
  

And make time—even just 10 minutes a day—for 1:1 moments with each child. That connection reduces friction hugely.

🟤 6. Listener Question of the Week (14:00–15:00)

“Here’s that question I promised at the beginning—from a parent I worked with recently:

‘When we’re staying with family my child can be so rude and bolshy - refuses to try the food, and tells me I’m stupid in front of people and I feel so judged and embarrassed?’

First—this is so normal. Your kids are reacting to all the changes, and you’re reacting to the social pressure to have well-behaved kids around others.

My advice? Manage your expectations with them in advance ‘If auntie Jenny gives you something you don’t like, what can you say, let’s practice that. - the more prepared your child is, the easier they’ll find it in the moment.  I’ve also noticed when you’re upset you can use words I don’t want to be called, like ‘idiot’, I’m happy for you to keep those words inside your head and tell me you’re frustrated or annoyed like “i’m cross with you”

Use the GREAT method from my guide www.mps.com/justlisten to prepare kids ahead of time for how they’re going to feel in family situations

If they have called you an idiot,
“You’re upset with me, which is why you just said that. You forgot to keep those words inside your head.  We’re going to step aside and have a chat” - You might be thinking ‘You haven’t seen my child, they go from 0-60 so fast, and the whole thing spirals. The podcast can only go so far, there are many other nuances which is why clients choose to work privately with me to get more tools

🔚 8. Summary, Subscribe Reminder & CTA #2 (15:30–End)

Let’s quickly recap:

• Summer often brings emotional intensity—and that’s not a sign of failure, it’s normal
  
  
• Understanding what’s underneath the behaviour helps us respond with empathy, not punishment
  
  
• Small routines, choices, and validating emotions makes a huge difference
  
  
• Sibling fights and jealousy are all part of the picture - be the coach not the referee
  
  
• And working on having a calm presence is more powerful than any perfect holiday plan
  
  

“If you found this helpful, don’t forget to subscribe on your podcast platform or YouTube—so you’re the first to know when the next episode drops.

And do grab your free guide—myparentingsolutions.com/listen

You’ve got this. I’ll see you in two weeks for another episode of Raising Kids with Love and Boundaries.”