Our children have gone through so many changes in the past few months I regularly hear about parents experiencing kids being much more anxious than normal or having unexpected melt-downs and tantrums.
Children are sponges for the world around them. They pick up on everything – the positive and the negative and things will increase their levels of anxiety that we may not have realised. One example is they are seeing so many people wearing masks and that is scary for them. They can’t identify who is behind the mask. So a child starting at a new environment - even if it is the loveliest place - might cause them to be more anxious that you expected.
Do you have a child who clings to you when you drop them off at school?
Teachers will tell you that they usually settle within a few minutes of you going but that doesn’t mean it isn’t so hard to witness.
So here are some great ways to reduce the anxiety of separating from you.
So many parents tell me that mornings are one of the most stressful parts of the day.
If you regularly find yourself losing your temper, resorting to threats, bribes, nagging and shouting and want to take some positive steps in the right direction, read on for easy-to-action solutions for mellow mornings .
My Parenting Solutions 10 top tips for mellow mornings:
As a mother of a baby and toddler I was so determined to get it right and to feel like I could cope.
I don’t know about you but in my struggle to keep going I was slowly running myself in the ground.
When baby no. 2 was 9 months old, I came down with a vicious bug that knocked me for six. This was many years ago, before the terrible Covid 19 that is so devastating to our world, but it wiped me out. For 7 straight days straight I was so weak and feverish that I could barely make it to the bathroom. My husband was away at the time and I had to call on anyone I knew to help me. It took me a long time to regain my strength. I realised that I couldn’t risk feeling like that again.
So the lesson I learnt was that making health a priority is essential for good parenting. It isn’t an ‘Oh yeah – no chance of that’ kind of thing.
It is Vital.
Because if we collapse, everything will collapse around us.
So from doing my research, practicing...
I used to really wrangle with the whole concept that scolding or telling off my kids wasn’t going to help improve behaviour.
This doesn’t mean to say that we can’t be firm or have boundaries. They really need boundaries. It is just how we deal with misbehaviour that makes a huge difference.
If we address the feelings behind behaviour, then we can start to steer them towards taking responsibility.
This is easier said than done and of course I tell my kids off – my teenagers fail to clean the kitchen to my standard and I get really cross about it. However, I get more out of them if I praise them for what they have done, rather than nag them about what they haven’t done. It really helps if I make it absolutely clear what I want done and why and also if I let go of expecting perfection. None of that needs to involve telling them off.
Here are 10 good things to know,
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. That is an absolute fact and it is the only job for which we receive no training. How mad is that? One way to help is to have a plan to follow so I hope you like this easy-to-follow 10 steps.
My Parenting Solutions 10 point plan to Prepare for Success
Children are born with different temperaments, some are more robust than others but there is a huge amount we can do to ensure even the most sensitive of kids REALLY believe in themselves.
Here are three great ways to raise your child's self-esteem
So what can we do?
My heart goes out to parents of young children navigating the pandemic.
Getting through an incredibly stressful period draws on every ounce of strength. It reminds me of a stage in my life many years ago;
I’d had a toddler and had just endured 9 months of a baby with colic and reflux who screamed most of the day and night.
Once afternoon I lay on the floor and I begged my toddler to let me shut my eyes just for 5 minutes.
If only I could get five minutes sleep then maybe I would be able to recharge my batteries that had been flat for so long. I’m sure you know that feeling.
Less than 3 minutes had gone past before I heard a terrible crash. My toddler had tried to climb onto the table by tugging the table cloth which pulled off the water jug and it smashed all over the floor. That woke the baby who had finally gone to sleep in his pram.
A broken jug isn’t the end of the world but I screamed at Nico
‘What an earth are you doing?’
Some kids cry when...
Way back in 1999 when I first got help with for parenting my unruly toddler, the coach asked ‘Does your son know who is in charge?’. My husband and I laughed ‘Er, no, he runs rings around us.’. He used to shout things like ‘I’m the boss’ when we went to switch off the TV or tried to get him to do something he didn’t want to do.
Want to know why this isn’t a good idea?
Children get their security from boundaries and predictability. They need us to steer the ship.
So how can we do that without turning into a sergeant major? Like us back then, maybe you are afraid of being too authoritarian so you swing the pendulum to being too lenient?
Here are my 10 top tips for feeling more in charge:
My eldest son is almost 23.
He’s 6”1’ and as kind and gentle a son as I could wish for.
You should see him with animals. He’s so sweet and caring with them.
This feels like long way from back when he was little.
One Saturday morning still stays in my mind.
We were off on a family trip to the farmers market.
His baby brother Felix was sitting on the mat with a rattle while Paul and I ran around gathering all the bits you need to go out - you know the score;
Nico had been antsy all week.
Nothing was quite right and he seemed to be over-reacting to everything.
He told me he hated my food, he refused to put his shoes on to leave the house, he shouted loudly in my face ‘Go AWAY’ when I wanted him to get dressed.
I had an argument going on in my head about how to deal with him.
-"You can’t let a child get away with it. Show who is boss and put a stop to this nonsense"
- Vs "Bad...