Why Rude, Moody or Silent Kids Need Us Most in These Moments

You’re trying your best to be a kind, calm, emotionally available parent—and yet your child is still shutting down, being rude, or melting down for no apparent reason. It’s frustrating, confusing, and sometimes heartbreaking.

This episode will help you decode what’s really going on beneath the surface when your child acts out—and give you simple ways to stay emotionally connected, even when your child says “Nothing” and shuts you out.

Inside this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why children often show us their feelings instead of telling us
  
  
• A relatable story from Camilla’s own parenting life that will shift the way you see defiant or rude behaviour
  
  
• What to do when your child won’t open up, and how to gently help them share what’s going on
  
  
• 5 powerful strategies to build connection and create emotional safety
  
  

💬 Question of the Week:
“When I see my 6-year-old son is upset and I ask him what’s the matter, he just says ‘Nothing’ — what am I supposed to do then?”

You’ll get practical ideas to handle this kind of emotional shutdown without pressure, shame, or trying to force a conversation.

00:00 Introduction: Understanding Your Child's Emotions

01:58 The Dinner Table Moment: A Personal Story

04:34 Behavior as a Clue: Interpreting Children's Actions

05:59 Building Cooperation Through Connection

08:08 Practical Tips: When Your Child Says 'Nothing'

12:55 Conclusion: Embracing Empathy and Connection

👩‍🏫 Hosted by Camilla McGill
Parenting coach and mum of four, Camilla helps parents build calmer homes and stronger relationships with their children—using love, empathy, and healthy boundaries.

💬 Ready for more personalised support?
Book a free 60-minute discovery call with Camilla and find out how her support can help you decode your child’s behaviour and feel more confident as a parent:
👉 https://calendly.com/myparentingsolutions/discovery-call

🎙️ Episode 25: Why Rude, Moody or Silent Kids Need Us Most in These Moments

Why Do Kids Shut Us Out?

We’re doing everything we can. We’ve read the books, we try to stay calm, we talk about feelings—but our child is still moody, rude, or melting down for what seems like no reason.

It can feel really discouraging. And exhausting. Especially when we’ve tried our best to be a good parent, to do things differently—and still, our child pushes us away just when we’re trying to help.

That’s exactly what we’re talking about in today’s episode:
What’s really going on behind our children’s most difficult behaviour—and how staying emotionally connected can completely shift what happens next.

This episode will help us:

• Understand why our child lashes out, shuts down, or acts up
• Learn what to do when they say “Nothing” even though it’s obvious something’s wrong
• And discover gentle, powerful tools to help our child open up and cooperate—without threats, shouting, or shame

I’m Camilla McGill, parenting coach and mum of four. And if we’ve ever felt confused by our child’s behaviour, I want us to know—we’re not doing anything wrong. We just need a new lens. And that’s what I’m going to give us today.

We’ll also be answering this week’s Question of the Week, which came from a lovely mum of a five-year-old:

“When I see my 5-year-old son is upset and I ask him what's the matter, he just says 'Nothing' — what am I supposed to do then?”

If we’ve ever been in that moment—wanting to help but hitting a brick wall—this episode is definitely for us. Let’s dive in.

A Story from the Supper Table

Let me take us back to a moment in my own parenting life.

My daughter was five years old, and we were sitting at the dinner table after a long day. I’d cooked something I knew she liked—but the moment she sat down, she looked at the plate, pushed it away and said, “Yuck, this is disgusting!” Then she folded her arms and glared at me.

It was like a switch flipped. She was angry, rude, and clearly not okay.

Now, I’ll be honest—my first instinct was to snap. I’d made a home-cooked meal, I was tired, and frankly, her behaviour felt disrespectful. But something made me pause.

Instead of telling her off, I got down to her level and gently said,
“You seem really cross. Has something happened today?”

And do we know what happened?
She burst into tears.

Through sobs, she told me she missed her best friend Emily, who had just moved away. That day at school had felt long and lonely. She hadn’t known how to say she was sad—so it came out as anger.

That moment taught me something huge.
When our kids are at their worst, it’s often when they need us the most.

Behaviour Is a Message

What I want us to take from that story is this: the behaviour was a clue. It wasn’t the problem.

Children don’t always say “I’m overwhelmed,” or “I’m really sad,” or “I had a hard day.”
Instead, they show us:

• By slamming doors
• Refusing to get dressed
• Shouting “I hate you!”
• Or pushing away the meal we just made

These moments are triggering for us as parents—especially if we were raised in households where those behaviours weren’t tolerated.

But if we can pause and remember: this isn’t personal, then we can begin to ask a better question.
Not “How do I stop this behaviour?”
But “What is this behaviour trying to tell me?"

Why Connection Changes Everything

So many of us worry that if we go soft in moments like these—if we respond with empathy instead of discipline—we’re encouraging bad behaviour.

But the research—and experience—says otherwise.

When a child feels emotionally connected to us, a few powerful things happen:

• Their nervous system calms down
• They feel safe to express their emotions
• They start to trust that their feelings won’t be met with rejection
• And over time, they become more able to listen, cooperate, and repair

Connection isn’t permissiveness. It’s not about letting our child do whatever they want.
It’s about meeting them with empathy so they feel safe enough to bring their whole selves to us—even the messy parts.

When They Say "Nothing"

Let’s come back to this week’s Question of the Week:

“When I see my 5-year-old son is upset and I ask him what's the matter, he just says 'Nothing' — what am I supposed to do then?”

This is one of the most common concerns I hear from parents.

We know something’s wrong. We’re asking kindly. We’re giving space. And still, we get “Nothing.”

So let’s unpack why this happens—and what we can do.

Why they say “Nothing”:

• Sometimes they truly don’t know what they’re feeling yet.
• Other times they’re worried they’ll get in trouble.
• Or they’ve learned that adults might not really listen—or might try to fix it too quickly.
• And sometimes, they just need time to process before they can speak.

So what can we do instead?

5 Ways to Help Your Child Open Up

1. Be a calm, steady presence
   Sometimes the best thing is just to sit with them. No pressure. Just: “I’m here when you’re ready.” That alone builds trust.
2. Make a gentle guess
   Try: “I wonder if something tricky happened today?” or “You seem a bit quieter than usual.” Even if we’re wrong, we’re showing interest without pushing.
3. Use connection points
   Kids often open up when the spotlight isn’t directly on them. Try chatting while walking, driving, or doing something together. These moments lower pressure and invite sharing.
4. Tell our own stories
   Model vulnerability: “When I was five, I remember feeling left out at school. I didn’t know how to talk about it. Do you ever feel like that?”
5. Revisit the moment later
   Don’t expect everything to come out straight away. Say something at bedtime like:
   “Earlier you looked a bit sad. Just wanted you to know I’m always here if you want to talk.”
   This tells our child the door is always open.

Need Support? Let’s Chat

If this episode has helped us understand our child a little better, that’s wonderful. But maybe we’re still feeling stuck. We’re doing our best, but something’s just not clicking.

We don’t have to figure it all out on our own.

That’s exactly why I offer free discovery calls.
In 30 minutes, we’ll talk through what’s going on in our home, where we’re getting stuck, and what might help. I’ll listen—without judgement—and give us insight into what our child might be trying to tell us through their behaviour.

👉 Just click the link in the show notes to book our free call.

It’s a completely pressure-free chat. But so often, it’s the turning point that helps us feel more confident and connected.

Because when we understand our child’s behaviour—and have the right tools to respond—we can finally stop firefighting and start enjoying family life again.

Final Thoughts

Let’s end by coming back to that powerful question:

“What do I do when my child says ‘Nothing’?”

Here’s what I want us to remember:

Children don’t open up because we demand they talk.
They open up because we show we’re safe to talk to.

So the next time we hear “Nothing,” let’s try to hear the message behind it:

“I don’t quite feel ready. But I’m hoping you’ll stay close.”

Our calm, our patience, our empathy—that’s what helps our children feel safe enough to open up.

And every time we choose connection over correction, we’re building something strong, steady, and really beautiful.

Thanks for Listening

Thanks so much for being here with me today.

If this episode spoke to us, let’s share it with a friend, leave a review, or send me a message—I always love hearing what’s helped.

And if we’re ready for some support in our parenting journey, I’d love to help.
We can book a completely free discovery call using the link in the show notes.

We don’t need to figure this out alone.
We’re not failing—we’re learning.
And our connection with our kids is where the real magic happens.

See you next time.